As Handsome and Unpredictable As Ever
by ForeverFreelancer
Summary: Inspector Cooper meets up with the cunning thief Carmelita Fox for their usual little rendezvous. one-shot


_**No, you read the summary right, I promise. **_

_**This piece was inspired by the artwork of the talented *Sariels-Hope on Deviantart. And the cover picture I'm using was created by the equally talented Moon-Shyne from Deviantart as well. I recommend checking their artwork out, it's very impressive. **_

_**I hope you two, as well as other readers, enjoy this. **_

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As Handsome and Unpredictable As Ever

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It was 2 AM as Inspector Cooper stepped out of his car. He gripped his sleek yellow and blue shock pistol tightly in his thick brown gloves. He swiftly closed the door and locked it, knowing how important it was to take precautions so rotten criminals like _her_ wouldn't try anything. It then hit him that an experienced criminal, if in desperate need of an escape car, could simply hotwire any vehicle of their choosing and drive away in it, allowing them to get away with their underhanded crime, hence the term 'getaway'.

He made sure his shock pistol was on low charge. As much as he couldn't stand thieves and lawbreakers, he was a gentleman, and knew it was unnecessary to cause anyone to suffer a full shock from the kind of weapon he wielded. A full charge from a shock pistol could cause some serious second or even third degree burns if one was hit with a direct blast.

He laughed to himself, thinking it was almost cruel in itself to attack perpetrators with projectiles that could potentially kill them, but it was the weapon he'd used from the start, even years ago as a rookie, before he'd climbed the career ladder and became the intimidating Inspector he was today.

Once the pistol was holstered securely, he adjusted the thick collar of his coat and shoved his hands in his pockets. His teeth chattered slightly as the harsh wind whipped through the chilly winter night. He'd much rather be relaxing in his toasty apartment, wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets in his soft and inviting bed, sleeping soundly and protecting himself from the biting cold that winter brought on in Paris. But he knew when he began working for Interpol that the hours would be grueling, and when duty calls, an Inspector always answers with determination, no matter the time of day, or the condition of the weather.

A sudden breeze blew by, and he pulled his hands from his pockets to rub them along his arms as he ran up the steps of the gallery venue, knowing time was of the essence. She was always quick in her efforts when out on a heist.

He scoped the area out as he entered, his eyes darting around to study the interior of the _Galerie de Bijoux de Luxe, _a gallery that drew in spectators and interested buyers who ranged from "A list" celebrities to representatives of prestigious corporate tycoons from all over France. There were many jewels and gemstones of high carat and superb clarity on display here, but one certainly outshined the rest, and this diamond was so valuable that it was kept in a room all on its own in the gallery, locked down with top notch security of course. It captured the attention of many elite billionaires who were interested in having it to call their own. This diamond was known as the Centenary Diamond. With a brilliant cut and weighing in at a jaw-dropping 273.85 carats, it was worth around 82,243,600 euros, or one hundred million US dollars. Any billionaire would be proud to have a beauty like that in their possession, to demonstrate how superfluously wealthy he or she truly was.

As he thought about how humorous it was for others to shovel out millions of dollars for a single diamond, his ears twitched to the faint sound of heels clacking against the floor far off down the corridor, and then silence fell upon the gallery again.

He took off in the direction of the footsteps he'd heard, rounding more corners than he could count, passing an abundance of glass cases filled with precious stones of all sizes and colors. But he didn't have time to stop and admire the jewels; he had a crook to catch.

He arrived at the heavily guarded entryway to the Centenary Diamond's display room. Well, it was once heavily guarded, not anymore. He jumped over the unconscious bodies of several security guards she'd quite obviously knocked out on her way to her prize she intended to swipe. He shook his head as he ran. How such a delicate young woman could single-handedly take down such burly guards was beyond the raccoon officer.

His ears perked to the sound of someone behind the door of the room. He glanced over at the electronic keypad and assumed that she used her hacking expertise to crack the code to gain entry. He swiftly whipped his pistol up and kicked the door wide open. "FREEZE CRIMINAL!" he yelled. He then gasped in disbelief, though a part of him knew that he shouldn't have been so astounded to see that the room was empty. On the stand in the center of the room, a small glass box had been placed there to hold the diamond. But in place of the rare jewel was instead a small auburn and black calling card in the shape of a fox head.

"Not again," he muttered through gritted teeth, his lips pulled back into an agitated snarl.

His heart jumped in his chest as he heard her voice behind him. She was singing.

"_Men grow cold as girls grow old"_

"_And we all lose our charms in the end"_

"_But square cut or pear shaped these rocks don't lose their shape" _

"_Diamonds are a girl's best friend"_

He slowly turned around and craned his neck, looking up to see the sassy vixen thief, the ever cunning Carmelita Fox, standing on top of a crystal chandelier up above. She had the Centenary diamond in her hands. The jewel shimmered in the dim light of the bulbs on the chandelier. She had her cane sheathed into a scabbard-like covering attached to her belt, unable to hold the weapon at the moment as she cupped the astonishingly enormous gemstone in both palms.

She continued to sing softly, her breathy soprano voice floating into his ears, but he wouldn't be distracted by her little show. He held his pistol and aimed it at the fox.

"Ma'am," he barked, interrupting her solo, "I'm gonna have to ask you to return that diamond," the raccoon ordered gruffly from the ground.

The vixen thief balanced on the spokes of the chandelier and made it look as simple as standing on solid ground. She laughed melodically as she hugged up against the thick chain that kept it suspended, and her tail flicked playfully. "Why Inspector Cooper! Oh we must stop meeting like this!"

He scoffed, continuing to firmly aim his pistol at her. "We wouldn't have to if you'd hold still long enough for me to blast you."

Her lips formed a kiss shape. "Ooh, always one for playing rough." She admired the glimmering stone in her hands with a thoughtful expression. "You know, diamonds truly are a girl's best friend. Unfortunately, none of my gentleman callers are willing to buy me gifts, so I have to…take matters into my own hands." She flashed a devious grin and winked at him.

He rolled his eyes and glared at her, ignoring her attempt at banter. "I'll ask you once more, you _foolish _fox. Return the diamond, and I won't have to harm you in any way."

She slowly lifted one foot up in the air flirtatiously as she swung the chandelier slowly like a pendulum. She let out an amused giggle, the angelic sound echoing through the vast gallery room. The sound of her laughter was angelic, yes, but there was no denying that she was anything but an angel. Her motives in life were underhanded and deceitful; she always was, and always would be, up to no good.

But, perhaps that was what he found so intriguing about her. She was the one thing he simply couldn't have. And their secret rendezvous moments were something he found himself looking forward to even, not that he would ever breathe a word of that to any of his fellow agents.

"My my monsieur Cooper," she said in her thick and seductive Spanish accent. The raccoon thought it funny really, mixing a Spanish accent with French titles. "Are you really going to result to harming me, Inspector?" She batted her long lashes and poked her lower lip out, pretending to pout.

He rolled his eyes. "I will if you don't do what I say. What you're doing is breaking the law, in case you were unaware, Ms. Fox."

"Still with the formalities? Oh come come, I thought we were on a first name basis by now, Sly."

He bared his teeth but didn't reply.

She casually examined the large iridescent jewel in her gloved hands, watching the light refract off the myriad of facets. She then skillfully sat on top of the covering of the chandelier and crossed her legs, tapping the toe of her over the knee boot in the open air. She admired the diamond with lidded eyes, her crimson lips still had that mischievous, playful smile on them. She placed the gemstone in her lap so she could run a hand through her wavy cobalt locks.

"That's the thing," she said with a sigh, gripping the rim of the fixture with both hands. "You're so black and white about this kind of stuff, detective."

His eyes narrowed at her statement.

"Need I remind you that I'm not a criminal that's committing hate crimes or kidnappings or manslaughter, and this is all just innocent fun for me, Inspector Cooper?"

He scoffed. His hands began to shake in anger as he held the pistol. "It is _not_ innocent fun, Carmelita. You consider stealing to be something you can run around and do for fun. It's a crime, just like all other forms of crime. You're taking something that isn't rightfully yours to have. What's wrong with making an honest living like the rest of us?"

It was then her turn to scoff. She smirked down at him, the gleam in her chocolate brown eyes unavoidable. "Now where's the fun in that?" she asked him. "Who says I wanna be like all you law-abiding citizens? Open your eyes detective." She spread her arms out like a bird taking flight. "The world is full of fun and exciting adventures just waiting for you to embark on. And all it takes to get there is hopping that little fence that divides following the law and breaking it."

"Yea thanks for the offer, but I prefer to be honest and live a life in which respect is given and laws and rules are followed," the unfazed raccoon barked back.

She chuckled softly, picking the diamond up and turning it over in her hands, her fingertips tapping on the sharp tip that had been cut with precision. The vixen shook her head as she clicked her tongue against her teeth, and her long blue locks swayed back and forth behind her. "So tense Inspector. You need a woman in your life, someone to ease the stress working for those stuffy pigs at Interpol brings a handsome guy like you."

The sultry sound of her alluring voice as she referred to him as 'handsome' damn near sent a shiver up the raccoon's spine. He knew full well which woman she was referring to, and he'd felt conflicted about his attraction to the female thief since he'd first encountered her on a heist, one she, of course, got away with. While pursuing her, his mind always screamed that he needed to capture her once and for all, while his heart caused him to ease back and falter on his aim as the beautiful fox dashed away with her evening's earnings each time.

Carmelita caught onto his instance of attempting to justify his actions, or lack thereof, and while he appeared to be distracted, she leaped off of the hanging light fixture, somersaulting onto the tile floor, landing lightly on her feet, which took skill when you ran around in five inch heeled boots that reached your thighs. She sauntered up to Inspector Cooper, popping her hips, fully aware that his eyes were exploring her body as she approached. She always had fun teasing him with her playful nature and confidence. The vixen was always dressed to kill, more like dressed to steal, as murder wasn't really her crime of choice. Her tight leather corset hugged her chest and upper body snugly. The top was strapless, and bared her shoulders as well as her cleavage. She swayed her curvy Latin hips from side to side as she approached the speechless Inspector, savoring the feeling of being secretly admired as she strutted, and the male raccoon's gaze slowly fell upon her exposed torso. Her middle had the perfect hourglass shape, and her lifestyle of thieving had kept her slim and fit, with slight muscle definition that was obvious when one noticed her toned abs. To match her sleek leather corset top, she was wearing tight leather pants. Not many females could pull of the leather look, but this particular cunning creature could, and impressively so.

She cradled the large diamond in her hands as she slowly approached the formidable male cop. She stopped for a moment and took her time as she bent down to deposit the diamond into her cherry red pouch around her leg. She then stood and faced him. She noticed the cold look in his caramel orbs, but she knew it wouldn't take much effort to melt the stern façade away to reveal the gentleman she fancied. Her lips parted as she reached her free hand out and placed it on his chest. He jumped at her daring move, while she only chuckled at the startled officer. She ran her hand up and down his defined chest. Working all those years for Interpol had certainly done wonders for his procyonid body. She pointed two fingers against his torso and walked the appendages up along his body, over the collar of his button up shirt, and stopped at the soft fur on his neck. She then placed a single finger under his chin and looked back up at him. As she did so, his breathing faltered and grew shallow for a moment. She leaned in, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "So tense," she murmured. "If you'd let me, I could fix _all_ your problems."

He let out a heavy sigh. "Carmelita, you'd be fixing all my problems if you'd just give the diamond up before I have to result to drastic measures. You know I don't wanna do that."

She giggled and began to circle him, like a shark circling its prey. "Ooh is that a threat or a promise Mr. Cooper?" As she promenaded around the raccoon, she swished her large bushy tail upward, twitching the end of it and brushing it gently over his muzzle. He shuddered lightly at her contact, and it didn't go unnoticed by the vixen. Her eyes narrowed as the knowing smile never left her features. "I do hope you enjoy our little rendezvous as much as I do, Ringtail."

His stance stiffened and he cleared his throat audibly. "I-I'd much prefer if we stuck to my professional title, Carmelita."

A breathy chuckle escaped her lush crimson lips. Her sultry voice lowered to almost a whisper. "I think Ringtail has a nice…ring to it though, wouldn't you agree officer?" Before he could open his mouth to reply, she had her arms linked around his neck and was staring up at him. She leaned in close, and could feel his warm breath on her fur, could hear his steady heart beating, keeping time in his chest as she drew so close but yet still distanced herself from him. Her striking orbs blazed up at him, and despite the weapon he held in his hands, he found himself defenseless against her subtle advances, and was surrendering to her hypnosis for only a moment.

He fought with how attracted he was to her. Everything about her was what he craved in a woman: beauty, excitement, confidence, a girl who was bold and daring, craved adventure and fun, even had a bit of a provocative nature as well.

But, still, what made her attractive more than any of her other traits was the simple fact that he could not have her, and he knew that. She was bad news, a criminal, a living breathing form of pure temptation, and like the forbidden fruit hanging from the looming tree in the garden, he could only look, not touch. And the simple fact that he knew he couldn't have her drove him wild.

She drew herself even closer, the devious smile still present on her lips. "You must long to have someone to hold when you go home to that big, lonely apartment of yours, someone to snuggle close to and share a bed with." She shook her head sympathetically as she ran her fingers through the fur on his cheek, her eyes fixated on his. "Must be awful to wake up alone each and every morning."

The conflicted raccoon exhaled through his nose, his nostrils flaring as he gazed down at the vixen thief who played with his heart and tormented his soul. "What are you implying Carmelita?" he muttered in a rough voice.

She closed her eyes and lightly nuzzled up against his cheek. Suddenly, her two-toned ears perked to the wailing of sirens approaching from outside. She slowly opened her eyes and winked at him as she leaned in to whisper in his ear, "That's my cue."

Before he could gather his thoughts and comprehend her words, she was already nearing the end of the hallway. He growled and reached for his pistol, only to find it wasn't there. He grasped at the air a few times, feeling of the empty holster and stared down just to confirm that it was in fact gone.

"What the—"

"Looking for this Inspector?" her melodic voice called.

His head snapped up to see Carmelita waving his shock pistol in the air, a victorious grin on her muzzle. She then ducked around the corner and took off down the neighboring corridor.

He shook his head; how could he have let himself get distracted long enough for her to snatch it right out of his hands?

He dashed down the hall in pursuit of the vulpine crook and cursed himself for losing sight of her. He scanned the empty hallway trying to figure out which way she'd gone.

"Up here detective!" she called down to him in a sing-song voice.

He looked up to see her perched on the railing of a small sitting area overhead. She left him dumbfounded as she tossed the pistol to him without a word and leaped up, connecting her cane with a decorative light fixture.

He fumbled to catch it, but catch it he did. He gritted his teeth and began firing as soon as the weapon was back in his hands. Each time he fired, he missed by only inches, as Carmelita continued to launch herself from fixture to fixture, using her cane to swing expertly from them with agility and grace that could put the most talented trapeze artist to shame.

He shot time and again as he chased her down the halls, the shocking bursts of energy smashing glass cases, shattering them to bits, or blasting into the thick walls, creating large holes that would no doubt take weeks to repair. The raccoon laughed to himself, thinking about how much unnecessary damage a shock pistol caused, but he always got such a rush from using it, watching the electric orbs soar through the air at his targets.

Sly and Carmelita performed the graceful dance of cop and thief: he would shoot at her, and she would flip out of range of the projectile with finesse as she continued to make her exit. She used her surroundings to aid in her daring escape, scaling the walls and climbing up railings of alcoves on the upper level. The way she could jump and twirl through the air was acrobatic, and left the Inspector taken aback. Watching her flip about, and arch in all directions in mid-air to avoid his blasts, jumping and reaching great heights using no other means but her own body as she did, was a sight to behold. It was an occurrence that could be compared to the hunter who aims his shotgun at the elegant swan as it flies over the lake. The creature is so beautiful, a true work of art come to life, and the hunter desires to shoot it, but at the same time, he knows it to be a crime in itself to harm such a fascinating, captivating being.

The vixen neared an incline that led to an open window on the upper level and Inspector Cooper was hot on her trail, which only fueled her fun and excitement greater. She raced up the carpeted incline, ducking and hopping over the shocking bursts of electricity as she loped. She dove through the window and out of sight.

He growled in frustration at losing sight of her again. Despite his attraction for her, he resolved, reminding himself that he was a man of the law, and this fox needed to be brought to justice once and for all.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't be brought to justice tonight. He jumped out the window and stepped onto the flat portion of the roofing, and his eyes widened to the sight of her on the rooftop of a building in the distance. A fair sized gap now separated the fox and raccoon.

She was always impressive in her skill of clearing lengthy gaps that separated rooftops.

He stood there frozen in place as she pulled the large diamond out of her pouch and held it out in presentation before storing it away again for safe keeping. Her silky blue locks rustled in the cold winter wind. She then saluted him with two fingers. "Well Inspector Cooper, this has been fun, but I'm afraid it's time I made my exit. Until next time, _mon beau_." She blew him a kiss before jumping into the air fearlessly and hooking the looped end of her cane onto an electrical line nearby, sliding down it as she gripped the shaft. Once she neared the end of the wire, she began pumping her legs back on forth as if on a swing, gaining momentum that allowed her to launch herself upward onto a higher rooftop. The graceful vixen bounded across the rooftops like a deer leaping through the forest. Before long, she jumped over the edge of a far off building, plummeting down to the city streets, disappearing into the night.

He lowered his weapon as his mouth still hung open in disbelief. He sighed deeply and shook his head.

He held his pistol limply in one hand and balled his other hand into a shaking fist. "I'll find you Fox!" he shouted, his voice echoing out over the city, resounding off the skyscraper walls. When all was still and quiet again he pivoted on his heels and slowly stepped back through the window.

The walk back to report to his fellow agents who had arrived and were assessing the scene at the entrance went by quicker than he'd hoped. He had a feeling they all knew that he'd let her escape for the fiftieth time. He strode leisurely down the halls on his way back to the entrance, feeling a little guilty at all the damage his sloppy aim had caused, and it was an obvious reminder as he walked back the way he'd come.

After relaying the disappointing failure, something that was becoming commonplace for him, to his fellow Inspectors, and having them berate him in his exhausted state, he was finally able to reach his car and drive away. During the short drive home, he was soothed by the thought of being able to take a hot shower and relax while listening to a little Neil Diamond before catching some z's.

Walking up the steps to his apartment, he gripped the railing, staring up at the massive white moon that hung up in the midnight sky, surrounded by hundreds of twinkling stars to aid in lighting up the night, and a small smile tugged at his lips.

He took a deep breath, staring up into the atmosphere, wondering where she was now, and when they'd see each other again. One thing was for certain though: when she did strike again, he'd be right on her trail, like always.

"I'll be seein' ya soon…Foxy."

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_**You go Sly, listening to some Neil Diamond, like a real man!**_

_**I had lots of fun typing this, and thanks again for the inspiration from *Sariels-Hope and to Moon-Shyne for allowing me to use your art for the cover. :)**_

_**Reviews are always welcomed. Thanks for reading!**_


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